The Strongest Person at the Funeral
In times of crisis, the world often turns to those who remain composed, steady, and unshaken. These individuals, often seen as well put-together, are sometimes misunderstood, with some perceiving them as cold or detached, and at worst, even labeling them as sociopaths. But, the reality is quite different; clinical detachment is rare among these resilient souls.
Let me share a personal story from the early days of my marriage.
My wife and I found ourselves in a challenging situation when she had a severe asthma attack. At the time, we were young, deeply in love, but financially struggling. We lived in a tiny one-bedroom apartment, sustained by a patchwork of part-time jobs. It was a precarious time, to say the least.
When my wife fell seriously ill, I was at a loss. Although I had friends and family with asthma, I had never witnessed an attack of this magnitude. We lacked health insurance and savings, and my wife was hesitant to go to the emergency room. My foolish pride led me to believe that I could handle the situation on my own.
As her condition worsened, I became fixated on one idea: keeping her calm. I knew I needed to get help, but I didn't want to worry or panic her further. Despite her resistance to the idea of an ER visit, I understood the urgency of the situation.
Fortunately, there was a drugstore clinic nearby. The practitioner assessed her condition, monitored her blood oxygen levels, and conducted a thorough evaluation. She told me that my calming presence played a significant role in helping my wife. During episodes like this, staying calm was crucial, as any physical manifestation of panic could worsen the situation.
My wife received the necessary medications and, within hours, started recovering. Later, she sought long-term treatment from a specialist to manage her asthma better. Looking back, taking her to the hospital immediately would have been the wisest choice. But we were young and inexperienced, guided more by pride than wisdom.
Despite the embarrassment of this story, it underscores a critical aspect of a person's character: the ability to be dependable in times of crisis, loss, or change.
Are you the person others can rely on during life's most challenging moments?
Dr. Jordan Peterson's famous quote, "Be the strongest person at your father's funeral," doesn't suggest suppressing your emotions or avoiding mourning. Instead, it highlights the need for someone to provide stability and support during difficult times. In moments of loss or emergency, someone must be the steady force, the one who can speak for those unable to find the words, and the person who turns overwhelming emotions into manageable actions.
Not everyone can be this person, but everyone needs this person. To be that rock, you must cultivate humility. While you may not be entirely selfless, learn to think of yourself less. Offer empathy, not just sympathy, to those facing challenging circumstances. Ultimately, strive to be the person you wish you had by your side during difficult times.
